Disgrace

#2 pm……….I was 13 if am not wrong. Summer holidays. Sun beaming right into my head. Like every Indian, cricket was everything. Everything! Just 5 more runs to win. Just 5. I don’t think I can ever again concentrate so much on the tiny moving dot. The dirty ball is all I can see. Suddenly I felt a gentle hand on my shoulders. Seems out of nowhere an old man was standing right beside me. Handing over a small white slip he asked me “son can u help me find this address?” Having a quick glance at it “Sorry thatha I don’t know it. Ask that auto man standing over there,” pointing towards an auto parked a few blocks away. He walked slowly across the pitch. The next ball went straight into the chalk on the tree’s bark marking the stumps. I went and handed over the small bat to my friend who was so much awaiting for this moment. In a matter of few mins we won. We bullied the losers. Got tired of bullying and walked back home. The moment I stepped into my house I felt like a loser. The biggest loser in the world. My dad sitting there with the old man pointing to me “this is my second son.” Now I realize why the name on the slip he handed over to me was a well known name. It was my DAD’s. The address was mine!!!!DISGRACE!!!

the 1st promise

The day I spoke to him he promised me, he’d be my friend forever, stand beside me in this world of crap when I needed him the most

He promised to teach me to drink

And he did

He promised to write a testimonial to me if I write one for him

And he did

He promised to love his parents as much as they loved him

And he did

He promised he will take care of our lodging if we guys decided to have an annual get-together

And he did

He promised me he would do anything for his friends

And he did

He promised me he will keep up all his promises

And he did not. He broke the first one.


I was sitting home jobless and like the fig dried out in the Sun I was getting killed of boredom. Out of nowhere an idea flashed up in my mind . My favorite victim - Hari Amirthraj. At a very quick pace I reached for my mobile. “Hey whats up dude, are you in town, do we meet up?” “What machi you sound all happy. Am in trichy da. My birthday is just round the corner. Il be back in Chennai and I swear I’l take you guys out wherever you guys want me to.” I continued, “Lets see if you make it here for your birthday you big dodger!!!” “I WILL [what a liar]” he said and his next words came out fast “Am on another call il call you back in a minute.”

Two days later…..

It was all dark. I could hear the faint tone of my mobile from a distant land. I tried opening me eyed but the lids felt too damn heavy. Few minutes later the same noise echoes through my head. This time with difficulty I did roll out the lids. I slept with my contacts on. Before my eye could browse for the name, I reached for the answer button to cut down the loud noise. “Hey Amir died in a car crash, we are leaving to trichy now, are u coming?” Prasanna’s voice was broken by his irregular weeping and sprayed me with questions. Hung up the call without giving an answer. Closed my eyes and everything went black once again. For once I felt the darkness comforted me a million times better than the flame that drove away the darkness and fear in me. The flame that did consume the flesh of my best friend, when so many of us stood around him watching the fire eat up his flesh. In tears. In our memories. For that moment, none had any thoughts that did not involve him in it. The flame he lit in our hearts is not the one that would die out ever. I wish he realized how we all loved him. As a pat on our shoulders. As a smile. As a brother. And as a friend. I believe its not God wanting to meet him soon, it’s the death which he couldn’t escape. For God wouldn’t be selfish enough to take him away from the mob that loved him a lot more than Gods own love on Amir. Rest in Peace Amir. Bye. Till the day we meet again.